Painful Love
by oxtenshixo
Summary: Hermione remembers the past with Cedric when she finds out that he didn't make it through the Triwizard Tournament.


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Painful Love

He broke his promise to her. He had promised he wouldn't die. That he would come back to her in one piece, but he hadn't.

He was dead.

The pain in her chest was unbearable, but she didn't show her weakness before the entire school. Her eyes stared blankly at his limp, lifeless body as Harry cried on him. She had the overwhelming urge to run up there and shake some sense into him. Scream at him and tell him to stop messing around, but she couldn't do it. Because she knew, deep down that he was really gone and she couldn't deny it.

She heard someone crying their heart out a few rows up and turned to see Cho Chang crying hard on her friends. They were all comforting her because everyone believed she was going to be Cedric's girlfriend after the tournament. She knew differently, she knew the truth. It didn't matter though, not anymore.

Before she could stop herself she took a few steps towards him, unconsciously wanting to be close to him. To offer him her love even if he couldn't comfort her back. He would never hold her close and tell her how much he loved her again. She couldn't finally tell him the words. Tears formed in her chocolate brown eyes, but she refused to let them fall. For fear that someone might see her and she would have to explain to the why. And she couldn't without looking like the bad guy, as if she had stolen Cedric from Cho Chang.

Instead she closed her eyes and she could see their first encounter as vividly as if he was yesterday.

--Flashback--

_The book in front of her was confusing her, it just wouldn't open no matter what she did. The bloody book had even bit her finger when she ad first held it. It had tricked her into believing it was a normal book; until she had brought it back to the table. When it had tried to take a chunk of her as a souvenir. _

_Her wand was pointed defensively at the evil book. She didn't even think that she probably looked crazy even by wizarding standards. _

_She was just about to hex the stupid book when she heard a soft chuckle from behind her. She turned quickly and almost tripped over her robes. The chuckling only grew louder._

_"Can I help you?" She said gruffly._

_"Just enjoying the show. What are you doing to that poor book?" The brown haired boy asked amusedly._

_She crossed her arms and huffed angrily. "Poor book my arse," she grumbled. He chuckled at her choice words. She blushed, "I mean… the book attacked me."_

_His eyebrow went up in confusion. "Maybe if you weren't so mean to the book it wouldn't have to protect itself from your wrath."_

_Her eyes narrowed. "Are you implying that I'm mean?"_

_He lifted his hands in surrender. "Of course not. Just that the book is obviously very sensitive and needs to be handled gently. Why don't I help?" He didn't wait for her answer and walked up the prone book. If she didn't know any better she would have believed that it was a normal book._

_The book lay there, not doing anything until his hand was right above it. Then it pounced quickly to bite him. The boy didn't have time to protect himself and only closed his eyes, waiting for the nip of teeth to break into his skin._

_"Immobulus." The book froze mere centimeters from his hand._

_He opened his eyes and smiled sheepishly. "Thank you." _

_Hermione only smiled smugly in return. "So… does that make you a mean person as well or is the book just more sensitive then you first anticipated?" She teased._

_"The book is obviously in need of some mental help so it no longer attacks helpless things." He smiled mischievously._

_"It's okay. I'm sure someone will always be there to protect you. I mean I was the one to stop the book from biting you."_

_The boy bowed dramatically. "I'm forever in your debt, my lady." He gave her a lopsided grin that did funny things to her insides. Her legs grew weak and she had to grasp the table to hold herself up. His grin grew wider as if her knew what he did to her. Hermione scowled at the look on his face._

_"You bet you are."_

_"Can I ask who I'm in debt with?"_

_"Hermione Granger."_

_"Ahh, you're her." He said as if she was nobody important and it hurt her more then she would have liked._

_"What's that supposed to mean?"_

_"You're Harry Potter's friend."_

_Her eyes narrowed. "So, it makes no difference to who I am. Whether you like my best friend or not doesn't mean you get can bad mouth him. So don't go around talking about it. It's not his fault that Voldemort hates him. Just who do you think you are?" Hermione ranted angrily. She hated people who judged Harry too quickly._

_"Whoa. I didn't mean it like that. I just thought you were one of his groupies or something. Since I always see you around him. I'm sorry." He tried to apologize._

_"You didn't answer my question."_

_"What question?"_

_"What's your name?"_

_"You don't know?" He was generally shocked._

_She scowled. "Sorry to hurt your fragile ego, but no I don't. Or I wouldn't have bothered asking you."_

_"I'm Cedric Diggory." Hermione recognized his name. They had used the same portkey to get to the World Cup only a few months ago. He was also a very popular Hufflepuff, an odd combination. "So you do know me?"_

_"No, I recognize your name, but nothing else." She said harshly. His smile was beginning to get on her nerves._

_Cedric's smile dropped. "See you around Granger."_

_Now that his smile was gone she couldn't help but want it back. She felt bad, but didn't have time to apologize since he left so quickly. Hermione sighed, now she had to go find him._

--End Flashback--

She had been such an arrogant know-it-all that day and she had taken her anger out o him. He had been nice enough to forgive her after she found him. It took her a while to realize that he must of heard all the commotion she had stirred up. Asking everyone she could about his whereabouts. She had been ready to give up when he had popped up out of no where.

Giving her the idea that he was punishing her. It had actually been him to change the nature of their relationship and paying his debt to her all at once. He switched their friendship to something more. It had been his fault that she had fallen in love with him.

--Flashback--

_It was odd for Hermione's mind to be occupied by anything other then her school work. With the exception of Harry's recent involvement in the Triwizard Tournament, but recently she found herself getting distracted. She no longer went to the library to study. Instead, she had been going to see Cedric Diggory. She hadn't wanted to admit it to herself, but she enjoyed his company. After she had apologized he had made it a habit to go see her in library._

_Until recently. He hadn't been showing up for almost a week and she was beginning to miss him. Hermione had been hearing a few rumors about him and Cho Chang, but she didn't want to believe that. Since she knew that Harry liked Cho, or at least that was her excuse. That she only had Harry's best interests at heart, but deep down she knew that it was for purely selfish reasons._

_Hermione sighed. It was obvious that he wasn't coming again. She tried to immerse in her homework for the next hour. Making sure she didn't look towards the library's entrance. She had become so focused on what she was doing that she didn't even notice the person in front of her. _

_He stood there a few minutes, taking the time to examine her. When he couldn't wait any longer he cleared his throat._

_Hermione glanced up and saw Cedric. Happiness flitted across her face before she could stop herself. Soon she pushed her current emotions away. "Yes?"_

_Cedric smiled at Hermione. "It's good to see you Granger."_

_She shrugged. "I hadn't noticed the difference." She went back to her work, attempting to prove to both of them that she didn't care if he was there or not. It wasn't working and he wasn't leaving her alone._

_"Granger, you and I both know you missed me as much as I missed you." He whispered so no one could hear him. Not for the first time she was happy that no one really frequented the library on Friday._

_"You don't know that!" Her voice was getting louder, but she couldn't help it. He had this irritating trait of being able to irritate the hell out of her._

_Cedric glanced around and noticed that they were attracting unwanted attention. "Come on, Granger. We're going for a walk."_

_"Let go of me." She growled._

_"Either you grab your stuff or we'll leave it. Either way you're coming with me. It's up to you." He glared down at her. Challenging her._

_Hermione knew when she had lost and hurriedly grabbed her books before he yanked her away from the library. "Where are we going?"_

_He didn't answer her and that annoyed Hermione even more. She started to pull back. Cedric turned to glare in response and she glared right back. So he pulled open a door and flung her inside. Locking the door behind them._

_"What was that about?"_

_"You just don't know when to stop do you." Cedric groaned in frustration. "I don't know why I put up with you. You're so infuriating!"_

_"You're infuriating, not me! And you haven't been dealing with me for the past week so you shouldn't be complaining now. You've been with Cho!" She spat before she could stop herself._

_His eyes softened. "Granger, I haven't. I've been studying something for the tournament and I don't want to make you feel obligated to help me. Or make you feel as if I want to know what Harry's doing. So I did it on my own."_

_Hermione was letting him come closer though and she backed up. "It doesn't matter who you hang out with or what you're doing. I'm sorry I yelled. I didn't mean it."_

_"So you don't care who I hang out with?" Hermione shook her head quickly. "Not even if I hung out with girls?" He stepped closer to her._

_"No, I don't care. You can hang out with whomever you please." She replied steely, trying to stay strong under his watchful gaze. She took a deep breath, knowing what he was going to say next._

_"Not even if I hang out with Cho?" Cedric took a few more steps, almost directly in front of her now. He was so close he could almost touch her._

_Hermione's eyes blazed angrily and she blurted out, "why do you say her name!?" She slapped a hand over her mouth._

_"What?"_

_"You call her Cho, but you call me Granger. Why?"_

_"She asked me to." He answered simply._

_"So if I asked you to call me Hermione what would you say?" She said huskily._

_Cedric was standing right in front of her now. "I would say yes. Now what would you say if I was hanging out with Cho?" Hermione's eyes clouded. "I want the truth Hermione." _

_"I wouldn't like it."_

_He nodded. "Good." Cedric placed his hand on her cheek and caressed the soft skin there. Rubbing his thumb across her lips._

_Hermione's tongue came out to lick her suddenly dry lips and she found herself licking the tip of his finger. His eyes followed her tongue as it swept across her mouth. He bent down, moving closer to Hermione's body. She tried to step back, but only met the wall behind her._

_"What are you doing?"_

_"Repaying my debt." He brushed his lips against her own lightly. Not wanting to rush anything. When he started to pull back Hermione stepped forward to follow him and grabbed the back of his neck. Effectively keeping him where she wanted him. His lips brushed her once more, but this time she kept them there longer._

_It didn't take long for Hermione's to yield until Cedric's skillful one. He licked her lips, begging to taste her. She complied without a second thought. They were swept away by the feelings they were getting. Neither could explain it, but it felt right._

_Cedric pulled back and gazed at her flushed face. Her breathing coming out in small puffs. Hermione's eyes fluttered open to stare into his eyes. She blinked once, twice before her eyes widened drastically. Before Cedric could stop her she swept out of the room and ran off._

--End Flashback--

She remembered how scared she had been after that kiss with Cedric. Afraid that she had somehow betrayed Harry and afraid that she had messed things up with Cedric. Not long after that she had accepted Krum's invitation to the Yule Ball.

Cedric hadn't been happy with her, but he had gone with Cho Chang. Making her believe that he had only kissed her because he had believed that she wanted it. Of course when they had gotten together he had explained everything to her and she in turn shared her fears.

He had been a lot of understanding then she had expected, but that was one of the things she loves about him. Hermione choked up. Loved. One of the things she loved about him.

It brought back memories of the night before the final task, the night before he died. It had been their first time together.

--Flashback--

_Hermione was worried about the last task. She was worried about her best friend, Harry Potter and her boyfriend, Cedric Diggory. They were both competing in the name of Hogwarts, but they were still competing against one another._

_It had made her very happy when she saw a friendship building between the two; easing the guilt that had been manifesting in Hermione's chest. This was her time with Cedric, she wanted to wish him luck in his task just like she had Harry. Only a few hours ago she had given Harry a pep talk after she had given him a review of any spells he may need in the maze._

_Now she would talk to Cedric. She wouldn't share what she shared with Harry because he didn't need it and Harry hadn't chosen to be apart of the tournament. While Cedric had placed his own name in. She glanced nervously at her watch and watched as the second hand continued it's journey across the dial. He still had time to get here, but he had better come fast before she got caught. It wouldn't do well for Professor Snape of Filch to catch her in an empty classroom alone. She shivered at the thought._

_Just when she was second guessing her decision she heard the door open quickly, trying to avoid any unnecessary noise. When he closed the door he turned to her with a grin._

_"Sorry I'm late. I got a little tied up in my common room. My house was throwing a party in my honor. You know, since I made it this far." He shrugged as if it was nothing._

_Hermione wrapped her arms around his waist and inhaled his cinnamon scent. "I'm happy for you."_

_Cedric stiffened. "What about Harry?" He couldn't stop himself from asking. Whether they were friends or not didn't stop him from thinking that Hermione and Harry might have feelings for each other like the Prophet claimed. It was one of his insecurities with their relationship._

_She looked at him firmly. "I'm proud of both of you."_

_He pulled away from her embrace. "How can you? We're on opposing sides."_

_"I care about you both in different ways. You know that." Hermione tried to explain, to make him see._

_Cedric's eyes narrowed. "Who do you root for during the tournament?"_

_"Neither of you. I just worry about both of you."_

_It was hard for Cedric. He had always been expected to do so much. Everyone expected him to do great things, but he was afraid that if he lost those things that people wouldn't care about him anymore. But when he was with Hermione he didn't feel like he had to impress anyone, he was afraid to lose her. Deep down he understood her relationship with Harry, but it didn't stop him from worrying every once in a while._

_He grasped her arms almost roughly. "Who do you love?" His voice came out husky as he awaited her answer._

_Hermione couldn't answer him. She couldn't tell him that she loved Harry as a friend. In the state he was in now it wouldn't make a difference and she couldn't say he loved him. She was too afraid of the consequences, too afraid that he would disappear when she spoke those words to him._

_So she tried to show him, she poured all her love into her eyes and never took her eyes off him. Letting him know without words that she loved him just as much as he loved her._

_Cedric could barely contain himself and smashed his lips roughly against her softer ones. He loved her so much and she loved him. Hermione pulled away from him for a moment. She pointed her wand to an old table and transfigured it into a bed and transfigured some old chairs into blankets._

_Hermione wouldn't look him in the eye as she pulled him over to the bed, but he stopped her. Once again pressing his lips to hers in an urgent kiss. He slowly lowered her to the bed and came down with her. Her hands moved up to encircle his broad shoulders, making sure he didn't leave her. Cedric slipped his hands in her robe and drew circles on her stomach through her clothes. _

_She giggled softly. "Ticklish there, love?"_

_"Yes," she gasped. Cedric had slipped his hand under her shirt. Stroking the soft skin underneath, not touching beyond her stomach. He trailed sweet open mouthed kisses down her collar bone, but her robe was getting in the way._

_He removed his hand from her shirt and she moaned in protest. He slipped his hands in the shoulder of the robe and removed the offensive article of clothing. Cedric pulled her shirt up to kiss her stomach. Lifting it a little higher with each kiss._

_Hermione blushed. He was going to see a part of her no one else had ever. "I'm a virgin." She blurted out before she could stop herself._

_Cedric stopped his ministrations and Hermione thought he was disappointed that she wasn't more experienced. A few stray tears leaked out of her eyes and he kissed them away. "It's okay love."_

_She shook her head. "But I don't know what to do."_

_"I'll teach you. Will you let me?" He asked._

_Hermione could only nod, sure that she couldn't speak from her nervousness. He placed open mouthed kisses against her collar bone. He lifted her shirt over her head and was pleased to see that she wasn't wearing a bra. Cedric softly scraped his teeth over her breast and she gasped. The sensations were causing her core to constrict almost painfully._

_Her back arched and received a new shock, something hard was pressing against her thigh. She wiggled experimentally and mewled in pleasure when it brushed against her core. Cedric had been holding himself stiffly as she rubbed against him, barely able to think in his lust induced fog. He thrust forward, rubbing himself against her core._

_"Oh Merlin," she moaned. He took advantage and removed everything, but her underwear. While he was still completely dressed. "My turn." She reached to grab his clothes, but he shook his head tauntingly._

_She pouted when he wandlessly removed everything but his boxers. "No fair."_

_"Later love. You can do anything you want to me later." Hermione nodded in satisfaction._

_Cedric took his time to explore every inch of her body, making certain that he left no part of her untouched. He would be her first and most certainly her last. He wanted her to enjoy every moment. _

_Hermione core was throbbing painfully. She needed relief, but all Cedric was doing was playing with her. She pulled him down and gave him a deep kiss. While grinding her petite body into his own._

_"Please, Cedric."_

_He groaned. "Please what, love?"_

_"Please touch me."_

_Cedric searched her eyes for any sign that she was uncertain. "Are you sure?"_

_Hermione nodded. "I want you to be my first."_

_That was all Cedric needed to hear. He pulled away from her and pulled her panties off; making sure he brushed her core. She shivered as the air touched her heated flesh. Hermione reciprocated by taking off his boxers and was horrified by how big he was._

_He noticed her look of fear. "Oh, love." He chuckled. "It's nothing to be afraid of." He reassured._

_"That's what you think." She grumbled before he redirected her attention._

_Cedric brushed his fingers over the dark wet curls that surrounded her entrance, making her shudder. He pushed one finger in with a little difficultly and saw her slight twinge of pain. Hoping to avoid giving her too much pain he started to pump his finger in and out. Trying to loosen her tight passage for him_

_She moaned and bucked against his hand. "Cedric."_

_"Yes, love?"_

_"Please make love to me."_

_"Patience."_

_Hermione tried to glare at him, but he added a second finger and she arched her back. Her core was throbbing and the tension inside her was rising higher and higher. It was getting harder to control. She didn't know what to do._

_"Let go. Come for me," he flicked his thumb over her clit and her muscles clenched. She couldn't hold on any more and she burst. A multitude of emotions shot through her and she felt like she was flying. _

_Cedric's eyes closed in pleasure as he imagined what that would feel like on his member. When her organism began to die down her eyes were glazed over in pleasure._

_"Thank you."_

_"We're not done yet."_

_Her eyes widened as she remembered and her eyes glanced down. His member was thicker and a little longer then when she had first seen it._

_"Will it fit," she found herself blurting out._

_"Of course. We're made for each other. Are you ready?" Hermione nodded._

_Cedric settled himself above her and placed his member at her entrance. She felt him settle there before he slowly began to push in. She closed her eyes in pain. It hurt more then she had expected. He was stretching her insides and it was painful. He stopped when he saw the look on his face, not wanting to cause her anymore discomfort._

_He brushed his hand over her cheek to wipe away her tears. "Do you want me to stop?" He asked softly and she shook her head._

_"Just wait." She felt incredibly full when he entered her but the pain was almost unbearable. She needed a minute to collect herself._

_Cedric nodded. Her tight passage was clenching his pulsing member and it was difficult to follow through with her request. So he closed his eyes and started to count books, of all things. Flying books with sharp teeth were jumping over a fence, but it stopped working when he felt her clutch him tighter. His eyes widened to see her smiling playfully._

_"I'm ready."_

_Cedric nodded and started to thrust slowly; still afraid to hurt her. Hermione was trying to press back, but it felt a little awkward. She soon found his rhythm and everything just seemed to fall into place._

_His thrusts became faster and harder as the pleasure built between the two of them. He kissed her passionately on the mouth even as their bodies tried to meld into one another. It felt incredible to be this close to her, but he could feel himself getting closer and she still hadn't released. He wanted her to remember this moment above all else; know that he was the only one that could give her this pleasure._

_"Come with me, love," he urged. Cedric reached down between them and stroked her clit._

_The pleasure became too much for Hermione, but this time she knew what was happening. She moaned his name as she felt the ball of pleasure release inside her. Her body was squeezing him tightly and he could hold on no longer. Releasing his seed into her womb._

_Hermione clung to Cedric desperately. Afraid that he would disappear and she would never get to hold him like this again. They were left panting in the wake of their pleasure and he rolled off her._

_He placed a kiss on her forehead. "That was amazing."_

_She only nodded, not trusting herself to speak. It was painful to think of him leaving her after what they just shared._

_Cedric pulled her body to his and they cuddled together on their makeshift bed. Before she could stop herself she felt her eyes drooping, but she tried to stay up for him. _

_"Sleep. I'll be here when you wake up." Cedric closed his eyes to fall asleep._

_Half a hour later Cedric had fallen asleep, but Hermione was still half awake. She lifted her languid body and kissed his nose softly. "I love you," she whispered to his sleeping form._

--End Flashback--

That had been the last night Hermione had spent with Cedric. It was their first and only night of love and she would cherish the memory forever. He would always be with her even if he wasn't there in body.

She looked up into the dark and dreary sky; looking for where Cedric might be right now. "I love you." She whispered. She looked up for some sign that he had heard her declaration of love. Something she had never been able to tell him directly. A drop of rain plopped onto her upturned face and she smiled.

As the rain grew faster the students make a run to Hogwarts, but Hermione remained and smiled. He might not be there now, but he knew. He knew that she had loved him and always would.


End file.
